This is your god speaking
by priscilla brett

This is your god speaking
If I may have your attention for a moment
There is something terribly important I need to discuss with you.
You see while I’ve been off for the past two thousand years
Creating galaxies and wormholes,
And other omnipotent duties,
Which your small minds cannot comprehend.
Every so often,
I’ve been getting  the most troubling messages,
From the department of angel-human relations back on earth.

It seems you have taken it upon yourselves,
With no permission whatsoever
To speak on my behalf.
Why, it’s been two thousand years since I was even here last.
How is it you’ve managed to fight that entire time over what I’m saying
When I haven’t even been here to say anything?
The only conclusion that the department of angel-human relations can surmise
Is that there must be a flaw in your design.

Something is blocking the higher reasoning centres in your brains,
Because I was perfectly clear the last time I was here
About what I wanted to see when I came back.
I thought the whole, killing myself in front of you would get the point across.
But no you insist on killing
And creating weapons that can blow this whole planet I worked so hard to perfect.
You make up stories about me and even have the gall
To make new commandments in my name.

The only thing both they and I can think is that you are retarded in some way,
And thusly flawed beyond repair.
So…
We’ve decide to take the entire human line back to formula.
That way we can make sure there are absolutely no impediments next time around.

That being said,
Thank you human test group Alpha Omega version 1.0,
For all you have contributed to the research into the creation
Of what will undoubtedly be a master race of the universe.
Please remain in a grovelling and fearful position
While the angel of death takes your name and number for future reference.
Please try to relax,
And have a pleasant Apocalypse

Sincerly,
J